Now:

A page that updates periodically about what I'm up to and into right now. You are viewing the version of this page from May 6, 2025. When it's gone, it's gone.

Making

Not so much, recently. I'm trying to move these bumper stickers and I'm thinking more and more about going physical. I think it would be fun to set up at a local thing and sell some prints. But I also am not sure if anybody in real life likes my art, or if it's only for people in the computer.

Doing

Man, what a fuckin' week. Tuesday we were over in Washnington when a crazy thunderstorm came through, so Lauren and I were trapped in an Indian restaurant where instead of music they had on an excruciatingly long ad for penis-straightening surgery. Sipping mango lassi and staring bewildered at each other while a guy reads out a disclaimer that the plastic spine they implant in your bent-up dick might cause a popping sensation, and the wind is absolutely howling and lightning strikes someone's chimney across the street. It was one of the most surreal moments of my life, I think. The korma was pretty good.

When we got home the power was out, and it stayed out the rest of the week. I just talked about how people on a Greyhound bus will talk to each other because you're all enduring the same annoyance, and I think a power outage is like that too. I felt so connected to the community while we surfed around town looking for somewhere to charge our various devices. I chose to see it as a surprise vacation, since all my work stuff is on my NAS and I couldn't get in there without electricity. So I spent a lot of last week sitting outside reading books and drinking beers out of a styrofoam cooler.

Lauren recieved her master's degree on Saturday, and her family came out to attend. We're all very proud of her but I am a special kind of proud because I've seen how tough it's been to get here. Hi Lauren! I love you.

We all went to dinner at Apteka and had a nice time. I try not to take it for granted that my partner's family likes me, because I've definitely been on the far side of that court.

Anyway. It was kind of funny living four days in a row like, reading by candlelight and bumming electricity from McDonald's and then going to Oakland to watch Laur recieve an advanced degree. And right as we got home from dinner the power came back, which is a little heavy as a metaphor but I'll take it.

Saturday night we got last-minute tickets through a friend to see Magdalena Bay at the Roxian. Ended up way in the back but it was good set and I honestly haven't been to a show in too long. See 'em live if you can. I think that last album didn't hit for me on first listen because it came out the day I got a root canal at 8 AM, but on revisit it's really good. I've been thinking about their stage visuals a lot, too—there's something really special about the bright dreamlike fuzziness of it all. So many people are doing that same sort of lo-fi pastiche kind of thing and not getting it right.

Feeling

As I write this I just got back home from picking up my first-ever brain medication. I went to the doctor last year and told them I was feeling depressed, and she said Hm, interesting. Let's check your vitamins, so I gave them some blood and then I got an email two weeks later that my vitamins were fine, followed by an email that that doctor was retiring. This time I walked in, told them the same thing, got a slip for some Wellbutrin and picked it up on my way home.

I've been totally untreated for so long that I think even making a little crack and seeing what I'm capable of is gonna be a big step. Once the idea settles in that I'm not required to be depressed to the lower bound of functioning every other day maybe some other bad stuff attached to my stupid belief that I deserve to be punished will clear up too. I mean I also need to find a therapist, most likely, but right now it's a lot more realistic to pick up a $10 bottle of pills every month than it would be to pay out-of-pocket for professional help. Unless you know anybody hiring a remote graphic designer who's offering health insurance, in which case shoot me an email.

The weather is nice again, or when it's bad it's bad in a North Carolina way that I kind of like. And I'm broke today but I have two months' rent worth of invoices outstanding. And I have some taquitos in the freezer I'm gonna rip up for lunch. So really things aren't so bad, and I can believe they might get better.

Reading

I had a lot of time to read last week, so I did a little catching up. Finished Darwin's Radio— it's not Greg Bear's most compelling book but I liked it enough, and it kept me guessing in a fun way. I'd give it a soft recommend if you've already read Vitals and want another sci-fi thriller where molecular biology is a big part of the plot.

After being suggested it for years I finally picked up Hugh Howey's Wool and ended up blowing through it in like two days. Some of the details of the setting that have to be in place for the reveal of What's Going On to pay off are kind of silly, but overall I really liked it—compelling, original, and eminently readable. You can put that on the cover if you want.

Now I'm just getting started on In Ascension, which Erik Carter said is really good. The pace of it is engaging for sure but I think I am just now reaching the point where it switches from literary fiction about a Dutch woman's traumatic upbringing to being a novel about something weird happening. Excited to see what that is.

Listening

Not on anything new right now, but as I write this up I am listening to Kero Kero Bonito's PRTLS guest mix from 2015, which is really good. So check that out if you haven't heard it I guess.